1. Captain Pearson And The Gorillas

Captain Cracker the pirate came out of 42 South Parade and bumped into Captain Pearson who had five gorillas chasing him. He asked, “Where do you think you are going?”. Captain Pearson, out of breath, said, ‘Someone let these stupid gorillas out on my ship, and now they are chasing me all over Pudsey. I ran into 42 South Parade to dodge them but they followed me into the house. Now I am going round to 43 NEW Street to see if Grandad Jack and Nanna Laura would like them for pets.’

Captain Cracker shouted, “Don’t be so stupid where will they keep them?”. Captain Pearson said, ‘I know I’ll ask Robert and Richard if they want them, and then they can send one to Manchester for Gavin to play with. If they put it on the train it will be all right.’ Captain Cracker laughed his head off. ‘You barmpot,’ he said. ‘If you put a gorilla on the train everybody would jump off and run away. The gorilla would have to drive the train and it would not know how to stop it. Then it would most likely crash into the buffers in the station and make a mess of the train.’

So Captain Pearson ran down South Parade and into Pudsey Park. He asked some people if they wanted five gorillas to play with. They screamed and ran away, and in two minutes the park was empty. Some people dived into the pool at the zoo and tried to hide among the fishes, which did not like it and nipped one or two of them. Captain Pearson then had an idea: ‘I wonder if I can sneak them in Barry’s skip in South Parade?’. A massive crocodile waddled past and offered to swallow a few gorillas, but Captain Pearson refused.

At Greenside school, the teachers gave the gorillas a barrow full of bananas to keep them quiet, and they fell asleep after eating them. When they woke up, they borrowed Grandad Jack’s umbrella and Robert and Richard’s skateboards from 42 South Parade. Two of them stood on one skate board and three on the other. They whizzed down South Parade towards the cutting and crashed into the wall at the bottom. They started swinging through the trees, met people walking dogs, and everyone ran away screaming. A policeman went into the cutting, and a gorilla kissed him and tried his hat on. The policeman smiled and said the gorillas were very friendly, and called Captain Pearson a “dickhead to be scared of them”.

Captain Pearson was very cross, so he pinched Captain Cracker’s peg leg and started hitting everyone over the head with it. Then a gorilla gave Captain Cracker his peg leg back, and threw Captain Pearson into Barskip in South Parade. Sheena came rushing out and nipped him on the bottom, and Suki came out and scratched his face. He yelled, “Bloody Hell that hurt me and was not very nice”.

He ran down South Parade with his trousers all torn and his bare bum showing, yelling his head off. Everybody in South Parade came out and laughed at him, and the gorillas were rolling on the floor laughing. Captain Cracker was spinning round on his peg leg and laughing like mad. One of the gorillas poked Captain Pearson on his bare bum with Grandad Jack’s umbrella.

Then all the gorillas picked up Captain Pearson and carried him back to his ship. They waved goodbye to Robert and Richard and thanked Sheena for biting Captain Pearson on his bum. When they got on the ship they locked Captain Pearson in the cage where the gorillas used to be. As they sailed away they said they would come back in another story later.