6. Captain Pearson’s Christmas
Captain Pearson hung up his pillow case on Christmas Eve. Captain Cracker was stirring the Christmas pudding with his wooden leg. Captain Pearson yelled that the leg had dog shit and mud on it. Captain Cracker replied that Captain Pearson would be the only one eating it.
Captain Pearson put a live turkey on a tray in the oven. As soon as he lit the oven, the turkey jumped out and chased him, pecking at his bum. Captain Pearson yelled that his bum was sore. The gorillas were with them and clapped every time the turkey nipped him. Captain Pearson threatened to stop everyone’s presents. The gorillas and parrot grabbed him and threatened to lock him in the cage until after Christmas, which scared him.
When Captain Cracker stirred the pudding again with his peg leg, Captain Pearson yelled about the dog shit. The parrot yelled that he would laugh when Captain Pearson found a lump of dog shit in his pudding. The turkey nipped Captain Pearson’s bum again. The gorillas ate all the mince pies, the Christmas cake, and the trifle while no one noticed.
On Christmas morning, Captain Pearson got a plastic toy boat. Captain Cracker got a new wooden leg that was full of whisky. The parrot got a new cage that was full of fruit. The turkey’s pillow case had twenty turkeys jump out.
Captain Pearson, hungry because the gorillas had eaten everything, ate the Christmas pudding, saying he liked the “currants and raisins”. Captain Cracker told him the “currants and raisins are dog shit”. Captain Pearson realized his mistake and said he was eating dog shit pudding, surrounded by turkeys and gorillas, with no presents. Robert, Richard, Matty, Ben, and John Fenton laughed at him.
Santa looked in and threatened him with dog shit pudding next year. Captain Pearson then decided he would get the gorillas to sing carols in Pudsey Market Place to get money. The gorillas decided to spend any money on themselves. Their singing sounded horrible, so people gave them coins and £5 notes to make them stop. They got so much money they could hardly carry it.
The gorillas bought five electric cars and went to the fish shop. Each ate fish and chips twenty times. They gave Captain Pearson a bag of scraps. Captain Pearson was furious.
Captain Pearson went to the Market Place to sing. His voice was so horrible that people threw a Christmas pudding, cans of beer, bottles of wine, whisky, fruit, and boxes of chocolates at him. He picked it all up, deciding he must have a beautiful singing voice because people were throwing presents. They all sat down to a really good meal and had a happy time.